Abbe Buck Hann
2 min readFeb 24, 2020

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National Caregivers Day, February. 21st

Today is National Caregivers Day. There is a report out that our caregivers often become sicker than we are because of the stress of taking care of a household, working at a job, taking care of us. It is so unfair to them! I need to come clean here, to the few who read my blog and to those who know me. I get depressed. If you have chronic illness and hit brick walls, you do. If you have history with it, you do. I went through years of uncertainty with bad surgeries and Lymphedema, my rants about the University of Virginia and recently with my not going to Mayo Clinic as it would be moot in my situation. I was told that I would experience a slow decline. And my husband and. I looked at the surgeon who said that to us as if we were about to ….

And through it all, my husband takes care of me. But who takes care of my husband? He is starting to get sick. He started smoking again. He has rash that his doctor thinks is psoriasis of some kind and that we have to watch. He seems happy and he loves me so much, for better or for worse but WTF! I never told you this but tried to go into a nursing home twice. I opted for respite care. I was a certified volunteer in hospice. and I knew good and bad assisted livings, too. I felt I would survive. He argued with me no, don’t do it. Better or Worse. But I still wrestle with it. Is this his fault? Shouldn’t my Skitch have a life? He is my best friend and my truest love but when you love someone or something shouldn’t you set them free?

It was a tough four years. It is still tough. The massive weight gain was Lymphedema. But someone pushing a behemoth in a wheelchair? Even though it is not my fault is that fair?

I didn’t think so and I still don’t. He refuses to let me argue about it.

This is the most unconditional love I have ever experienced.

I still don’t think it is fair to him.

I do not believe it is fair.

The caregiver may feel appreciated but life is unfair.

https://www.nbc26.com/news/nbc26-cares/caregivers-feel-appreciated-and-supported-on-national-caregivers-day

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Abbe Buck Hann

My profile: I am Jewish. All Ashkenazi Jews were inbreds until 1902. This is why we have the scoliosis gene. I have it. And my son has it. More suffering.